quotes.js

"use strict";

module.exports = [
  {
    quote: "Christmas time is once a year, every critter holds it dear!",
    character: "Mr. Hankey"
  },
  {
    quote: "Howdy ho!",
    character: "Mr. Hankey"
  },
  {
    quote: "Don't forget to bring a towel!",
    character: "Mr. Hankey"
  },
  {
    quote: "I'm Professor Chaos, your worst nightmare! I'm the supervillain you can't stop!",
    character: "Butters"
  },
  {
    quote: "I'm just a little boy!",
    character: "Butters"
  },
  {
    quote: "I'm not just sure, I'm HIV positive!",
    character: "Butters"
  },
  {
    quote: "I'm just a little confused, you know?",
    character: "Butters"
  },
  {
    quote: "I'm not fat, I'm big-boned!",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "Oh, hamburgers!",
    character: "Chef",
  },
  {
    quote: "I am a cop, and you will respect my authoritah!",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "Oh my god, they killed Kenny!",
    character: "Stan",
  },
  {
    quote: "You bastards!",
    character: "Kyle",
  },
  {
    quote: "Don’t you dare call me a Cartman!",
    character: "Stan",
  },
  {
    quote: "Don’t lie, Stan. Lying makes you sterile.",
    character: "Mr. Garrison",
  },
  {
    quote: "I'm not fat, I'm festively plump.",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "Drugs are bad, mmkay?",
    character: "Mr. Mackey",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "All animals kill, and the animals that don’t kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.",
    character: "Kyle",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "As you get older, boobs will start becoming a major part of your life. But you can’t let them get in the way of your friends. There are a lot of boobs out there. But they’re just boobs. Your friends are forever.",
    character: "Randy",
  },
  {
    quote: "Screw you guys, I’m going home!",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "Hell, everything’s legal in Mexico. It’s the American way!",
    character: "Jimbo",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "When a chick says ‘we need to talk,’ you might as well start punching yourself in the balls, dude.",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "Operation Human Shield my ass.",
    character: "Chef",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "Hippies. They’re everywhere. They wanna save Earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "Well I’m sorry Wendy, but I just don’t trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn’t die!",
    character: "Mr. Garrison",
  },
  {
    quote: "Cartman doesn’t know a rainforest from a Pop-Tart.",
    character: "Stan",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "Kenny’s family is so poor that yesterday, they had to put their cardboard box up for a second mortgage.",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.",
    character: "Kyle",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "You know, I think that if parents would spend less time worrying about what their kids watch on TV and more time worrying about what’s going on in their kids’ lives, this world would be a much better place.",
    character: "Stan",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "We must stop frivolous spending! Instead of paying for cable, let us watch clouds! Instead of buying clothes, wear but sheets from thine beds! Cut spending to only the bare essentials! Water and bread and margaritas!",
    character: "Randy",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "Don’t do drugs kids. There is a time and place for everything. It’s called college.",
    character: "Chef",
  },
  {
    quote: "All people from Jersey do is hump and punch each other.",
    character: "Stan",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "Don’t you know the first law of physics? Anything that’s fun costs at least eight dollars.",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "No, that’s wrong, Cartman. But don’t worry. There are no stupid answers, just stupid people.",
    character: "Mr. Garrison",
  },
  {
    quote: "Oh my god, they killed Kenny!",
    character: "Stan",
  },
  {
    quote: "Oh, I forgot to tell you that part. I'm Lorde.",
    character: "Randy",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "Sometimes you gotta go forward by going backward. Are we driving cars or are cars driving us?",
    character: "Matthew McConaughey",
  },
  {
    quote: "I AMMM Lorde. LAWDY LAWDY LORDE!",
    character: "Randy",
  },
  {
    quote: "Winter's coming, Sharon, and I'm a busy little bee. Buzz! Buzz!",
    character: "Randy",
  },
  {
    quote: "I don't know what to believe in any more, mmkay!",
    character: "Mr. Mackey",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "But what does being Hawaiian have to do with me being like an emo chick on her period?",
    character: "Butters",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "Butters, people can't just go around beating up people who have diabetes!",
    character: "Kyle",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "I just hope when she does her pageants, the judges don't take away points because she's got a pig heart.",
    character: "Honey Boo Boo's Mom",
  },
  {
    quote: "My name's Honey Boo Boo, and I'm a beauty queen, bitches!",
    character: "Honey Boo Boo",
  },
  {
    quote: "We got crappy jewelry, now all we need are some old people.",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "All I think about is the problems our generation is inheriting.",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "I don’t make the rules, I just think them up and write them down.",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "Oh, I’m sorry! I thought this was AMERICA!",
    character: "Randy",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "If you don’t teach your children that Paris Hilton should be despised, how will they know?",
    character: "Mr. Slave",
  },
  {
    quote: "No, Kitty! That's a bad kitty!",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "You guys, I'm so seriously!",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "Oh, hamburgers!",
    character: "Butters",
  },
  {
    quote: "Hello there, children.",
    character: "Chef",
  },
  {
    quote: "TIMMAEH!",
    character: "Timmy",
  },
  {
    quote: "You're a towel.",
    character: "Towelie",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "Life goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, and do whatever you want all the time, you could miss it.",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "Well, I don't know if I ever told you this, Kenny, but I kinda always thought you were my best friend.",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "Do you know what I am saying?",
    character: "Butters",
  },
  {
    quote: "I love life.",
    character: "Butters",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "I’m not having a glass of wine, I’m having six. It’s called a tasting, and it’s classy.",
    character: "Randy",
  },
  {
    quote: "Kyle’s mom is a bitch!",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "I’m not just sure, I’m HIV positive.",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "The fireman is very magical. If you rub his helmet he spits in your eye.",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "No, dude, independent films are those black-and-white hippie movies. They're always about gay cowboys eating pudding.",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "The only way to fight hate is with even more hate!",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "I'm not fat, I just have a sweet hockey body.",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "Yeah, hippie! Go back to Woodstock if you don't want to shoot anything!",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "Go back to Endor, you stupid Wookie!",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "I can't lose weight, Butters, because I'm not fat, I'm big-boned. You can't slim down bones, stupid!",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "Dolphins, Eskimos, who cares? It's all a bunch of tree-hugging hippie crap.",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "Oh, my God, they killed Kenny!",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "Aw, it smells like Kenny's house in here!",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "They're not people! They're hippies!",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "Too bad drinking Scotch isn't a paying job, or else Kenny's dad would be a millionaire.",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "You do not say 'big silly goose,' you call him an asshole like a normal kid!",
    character: "Randy",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "There's plenty of other interesting things you can do. Have you ever tried marijuana. Maybe it's time.",
    character: "Randy",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "I'm not chugging beer! I'm sampling a flight of gluten-free German lagers with a French wine pairing! It's called a smorgaswein and it's elegantly cultural!",
    character: "Randy",
  },
  {
    quote: "This disease is just eating me up! I hate my illness!",
    character: "Randy",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "The players should all wear bras! And instead of helmets, they should wear little tinfoil hats, 'cause, you know, it's the future and we shouldn't be so barbaric!",
    character: "Randy",
  },
  {
    quote: "Just gonna get a little bit of cancer, Stan. Tell Mom it's okay.",
    character: "Randy",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "Creme fraiche, Cafeteria Fraiche. Lalalalala fraiche. Ho ho hohoho.",
    character: "Randy",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "I'll make less money, sure, but ... as long as I buy everything at Wall-Mart, it'll all even out. Don't you see? Wall-Mart isn't our enemy, it's our neighborhood friend.",
    character: "Randy",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "God, why do the economically challenged always have to screw up everything?!",
    character: "Randy",
  },
  {
    quote: "Parents can be pretty cruel sometimes, dude. They get off on it.",
    character: "Stan",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "My Dad... He's kind of losing it. To be honest, I feel kind of bad for him.",
    character: "Stan",
  },
  {
    quote: "You don't suck at football, Butters. You suck at all sports!",
    character: "Stan",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "You're not Gene Hackman or that guy who played Napoleon Dynamite, but you're okay.",
    character: "Stan",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "In America, if something sucks, you're supposed to be able to get your money back!",
    character: "Stan",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "Yeah, well just like the rest of us, you have to make choices with your money. Do you want a bike, or do you not want to be depressed?",
    character: "Randy",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "Dude, this book says I don’t exist unless I think I do. But what if I don’t?",
    character: "Kyle",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "It’s simple economics, son. I don’t understand it at all, but God, I love it!",
    character: "Randy",
  },
  {
    quote: "I made you eat your parents!",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "I see fried chicken... it's tender and it's fresh.",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "This is a bunch of crap. I've been licking this carpet for three hours and I still don't feel like a lesbian.",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "I'm Scott Malkinson, I have diabetes.",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "Oh yeah? I run with 12 gangs, and we only commit hate crimes. Whatever - I do what I want!",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "I'm not a monkey, I'm a woman!",
    character: "Mr. Garrison",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "You can just hang around outside in the sun all day, tossing a ball around, or you can sit at your computer and do something that matters!",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote:
      "I, like everyone with breast cancer, have something I want to get off my chest.",
    character: "Cartman",
  },
  {
    quote: "Your mother was worried sick and I was here drinking beer.",
    character: "Randy",
  },
  {
    quote: "I know enough to exploit it.",
    character: "Cartman"
  },
  {
    quote: "Sometimes the things we do don't matter right now. Sometimes they matter later. You have to care more about later sometimes, you know?",
    character: "Stan"
  },
  {
    quote: "Oh my god. Jay Leno's chin killed Kenny.",
    character: "Stan"
  },
  {
    quote: "Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!",
    character: "Cartman"
  }, 
  {
    quote: "If irony was made of strawberries, we'd all be drinking a lot of smoothies right now.",
    character: "Newscaster Ned"
  }, 
  {
    quote: "Wow, cartoons are getting really dirty.",
    character: "Stan"
  }, 
  {
    quote: "What what WHAT?!?",
    character: "Mrs. Broflovski"
  },
  {
    quote: "I have never in my life done anything just for the money! If I'm lying may the Lord strike me down right now!",
    character: "Cartman"
  },
  {
    quote: "Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.",
    character: "Kyle"
  },
  {
    quote: "Hellp, Mrs. Brovlowski, this is Stan's mom. I was wondering if you might know why my son is trying to split his head open with an ice pick.",
    character: "Sharon Marsh"
  },
  {
    quote: "Well God, I guess you got me again, didn't you? Yeah, that was a good one, God. Hope it made you laugh, you sick bastard.",
    character: "Cartman"
  },
  {
    quote: "I got my period.",
    character: "Cartman"
  },
  {
    quote: "I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.",
    character: "Towelie"
  },
  {
    quote: "Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again",
    character: "Butters"
  }
];