Fix the semantics of DenseHashMap to be consistent even when inserting nulls #18129
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We've always had an uncomfortable ambiguity where you could insert nulls, but they'd return null like they weren't there and there was no way to check if a null had actually been inserted before, leading to double-insert asserts if you checked for an existing item before inserting but the previous item was a nullptr.
With this, the semantics are more normal. This allows us to fix one of the crashes from #18116.