Giving-Feedback-Praise-and-Advice.md

Giving Feedback, Praise and Advice

• Can You “Fix” Colleagues Who Aren’t Self-Aware? - by Daniel Goleman, the author of Emotional Intelligence. Takeaway: "Working with someone who has low Emotional Self-Awareness isn’t just an annoyance for co-workers, it impacts everyone’s ability to perform well in their work. Research by Korn Ferry Hay Group and others show that a leader’s high Emotional Self-Awareness contributes to overall performance."

• Can Your Employees Really Speak Freely? - by James R. Detert and Ethan R. Burris. Takeaway: Being open and receptive of feedback leads to higher retention and better performance. Anonymous feedback is counter-productive because it sends the message that one must remain anonymous in the environment; it does not necessarily lead to more authentic outcomes. And "the biggest reason for withholding ideas and concerns wasn’t fear but, rather, the belief that managers wouldn’t do anything about them anyway."

• Feedback Doesn’t Have to Be Scary - by Chris Murman at ThoughtWorks. Takeaway: what you can do when you rely upon feedback and reviews from multiple people. Ask for feedback frequently and proactively, in small measures. "Giving your co-workers some specific questions or topics you want to discuss in advance focuses the conversation. It also steers the conversation away from personal feelings. The giver can focus on helping me."

• Feedback That Gives Focus - by Dave Peth. Takeaway: "[L]ike a good story, good feedback can take us out of ourselves, allowing us to see the work more clearly. It can remove the artificial barrier between feedback giver and receiver, refocusing both on shared goals. Change your habits around feedback, and you can change the story of your project."

• 51 Things Your Employees Won't Tell You (Unless You Ask) - by John Brandon. Takeaway: A list of 51 reasons why your reports/employees aren't telling you what they really feel. At the top: "You don't listen."

• 4 Tips for Leaders Helping Others Evolve Their Careers - by Allison Matlack. Takeaway: Set the context, invest in skill building, pull up a seat at the table (advocate for others) and open some doors.

• Getting Feedback - by Allison (Sheren) McMillan. Takeaway: Ask your teammates for feedback so you can continue growing and developing. Includes short lists of questions you can ask.

• Giving Effective Feedback - by Harvard Business Review. Takeaway: "[T]he basics of delivering feedback that gets results, including: Choosing the right time to talk; Engaging in productive dialogue; Helping both star and struggling performers; Developing a plan for effective follow-up."

• How and Why You Need to Recognize Your Executives - by Jessica Collins. Takeaway: Leaders are people too, and giving them feedback keeps them in touch with the organization, and motivates them to continue doing the "right" things.

• How Do Individual Contributors Get Stuck? - by Camille Fournier. Takeaway: When giving constructive feedback, pay attention to how ICs get stuck and address those habits—endless research, helping others instead of doing their own work, refactoring, and other ways.

• How to Get More Feedback from Your Team - by Lighthouse. Takeaway: gives five approaches for increasing feedback, including asking for it (many don't) and being grateful for the feedback you receive.

• How to Give Employees Performance Feedback & Resolve the Resistance You Know You're Going to Get - by Ross Blake. Takeaway: Managers are good at pointing out the need for course-correction but often fail to describe alternatives.

• How to Give Negative Feedback Over Email - by Jocelyn K. Glei. Takeaway: When circumstances require you to give negative feedback via email, start with appreciation; provide specific, actionable direction; avoid using the imperative; emphasize progress; and use the word "yet."

• Negative Feedback Antipatterns - by Charles-Axel Dein. Covers the OFNR (Observation, Feeling, Need, Request) method. Observation of a fact: A fact is rarely controversial, and a great way to start a conversation. Feeling: express your feelings and your story. Clarify that it’s your story. Need: state what you value, or the kind of impact you’d like to see. Request: explain what concrete action the other person would need to take.

• Our 6 Must Reads for Managers to Give Feedback That Helps People Grow - by FirstRound. Takeaway: six FirstRound articles to help you deliver feedback more effectively.

• Perfection Game - by Ben Linders. Takeaway: use this game to generate detailed feedback, discover strengths, and define effective improvement actions (e.g. in a retrospective). It gives power to teams and helps them to self-organize and become more agile.

• A Primer on Giving Critical Feedback - by Tom Bartel. Provides a simple, four-step structure for giving feedback: 1) Describe a event (with facts) and the consequences, while criticizing only the behavior; 3) collect suggestions from the feedback receiver; by suggesting a solution themselves, they have an active part and become accountable; 4) make an agreement how to move on and follow up.

• The Problem with “Constructive Feedback” - by Kim Scott. Takeaway: "It’s hard to sound or be humble when saying, 'I’ve got some constructive feedback for you.' This sounds like you’re saying that you know a truth that the other person doesn’t know, and you’re going to tell them this truth. It’s sort of like saying, 'You have a problem, I’m going to tell you what it is, and you’re going to fix it.'" Remember to offer praise and to remain humble.

• The Problem with Saying 'Don’t Bring Me Problems, Bring Me Solutions'” - by Sabina Nawaz. Takeaway: "Not every problem has an easy solution. Tackling the complexity of most significant business issues can take a pool of talented people with diverse points of view. What’s more, according to Wharton professor Adam Grant, solution-only thinking creates 'a culture of advocacy instead of one of inquiry,' where each person comes into the situation locked into their way of solving the problem and lobbies hard for that particular solution rather than considering multiple perspectives."

• Radical Candor — The Surprising Secret to Being a Good Boss - by Kim Scott. Takeaway: Why you have to offer "Radical Candor" (real friends tell you the ugly truth) and forget about being "nice." See also: Rolling Out Radical Candor: Part One.

• Rainbows and Unicorns - by Michael Lopp. Takeaway: advice on giving a compliment—"a selfless, timely, and well-articulated recognition of achievement"—with a breakdown of how compliments work, interwoven with references to video games.

• Reddit and Facebook Veteran on How to Troubleshoot Troublemakers - by FirstRound. Takeaway: A chat with Bethanye McKinney Blount about how to grow from a troublemaker into a troublemaker-manager, and the four common types of troublemakers: the hermit, the nostalgia junkie, the trend chaser, and the smartest person in the room. See also Blount's Troubleshooting Troubleshooters talk.

• The Secrets to Building a Constructive Feedback Culture - by Mark Lukens. Takeaway: "To be constructive, feedback needs to be specific, showing people where to focus their efforts in improving. It needs to focus on the product, not the person, making clear that the employee who did the work is not under attack. People who feel attacked, or who are not given a clear way forward, will become defensive and less open to feedback." Be open and considerate, and avoid casual feedback because it suggests you don't care.

• Stop Answering Your Own Questions - by Camille Fournier. Takeaway: By answering your own questions, "I am talking to hear myself speak, rather than genuinely asking for more information that would help me understand the plan and allow me to give better feedback. By stating my preference up-front I cut off discussion. What’s worse, I make the receiver unlikely to honestly answer my question; unless, that is, they feel up to the task of debating me...If you are (or were) a highly opinionated engineer, practicing making space for information rather than quickly jumping in and sharing your conclusions is a must for leadership growth."

• Stop Feeding Shit Sandwiches - by Claire Lew. Takeaway: Layering the feedback "good-bad-good" is for the feedback giver's benefit only. To get better results the feedback giver should come from a place of care, observation, fallibility, and curiosity.

• Summary of “Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most - by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, Summary by Conflict Research Consortium Staff. Takeaway: This is the summary of a book around Difficult Conversations in general, but extremely useful for all managers while giving feedback - positive or otherwise. "Good communication is important both in formal negotiations and in daily life. This book explores what makes some conversations difficult, why people avoid having difficult conversations, and why people often manage difficult conversations poorly. The authors offer techniques for having more effective, fruitful discussions."

• 7 Tough Lessons I’ve Learned on Giving and Receiving Feedback at Our Startup - by Leo Widrich. Takeaway: Understand why humans need feedback; see it as a kindness; consider giving it to be a skill; encourage employees to give it without permission; give role feedback; aim to grow from feedback. "Feedback is how we scale as a company; it’s how we make sure we keep helping each other."

• The 3 Types of Bullshit Feedback — and What to Do About Them - by Claire Lew. Takeaway: three types of BS feedback include the kind that is true, "but the delivery is off"; untrue feedback, and "feedback is vague, unclear or supremely subjective."

• Twitter Thread on Sponsorship - by Neha Batra. Takeaway: Batra asks the Twitterverse to share stories about managers who demonstrated empowering activities and surfaces these patterns: gave new opportunities, granted autonomy, and offered credit and promotions to reward work already being done.

• The Ultimate Case Against Using Shame as a Management Tactic - by Lila MacLellan. Takeaway: an explanation of European "just culture," which involves treating errors with training and support instead of punishment for mistakes honestly admitted and made. This relates to psychological safety and giving employees the chance to learn from mistakes.

• The Value of Failure and Feedback: a Guide - by Jono Bacon. Takeaway: Drawing from personal experiences, Bacon identifies examples of transformative feedback—feedback that reveals new levels or types of self-awareness that one can leverage to improve performance. "Soliciting constructive feedback has two key parts: When you get feedback, you need to always be receptive and never defensive or frustrated. To receive great feedback, you have to build a permissive relationship with others that means they can share it without worrying about you being…well…defensive or frustrated.

• When It Comes to Feedback, Start with Yourself - by Alicia Liu. Takeaway: "Before giving any feedback, it’s important to understand that every relationship is two-sided. If you’re having interpersonal issues while working with someone, it’s just as much on you as it is on them to change, in order to get to a better working relationship."

• Writing Performance Reviews with Positive Constructive Feedback - by Julia Evans. Three strategies for giving useful specific feedback.