fix(react): don't set options before suspending

[TkDodo]

setting options right before suspending is a side effect, and it has repercussions if used in transitions where the component stays mounted

to fix #6392 in a different way, we can't rely on observer.getCurrentQuery() when reading for error boundaries / suspense, because it can lag behind; instead, we can just read from the queryCache directly to get the latest values

fixes #6486
fixes #6498

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Sandbox	Source
@tanstack/query-example-angular-basic	Configuration
@tanstack/query-example-react-basic-typescript	Configuration
@tanstack/query-example-solid-basic-typescript	Configuration
@tanstack/query-example-svelte-basic	Configuration
@tanstack/query-example-vue-basic	Configuration
react-query: useSuspenseQuery does not throw on queryKey change	Issue #6392

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Codecov Report

All modified and coverable lines are covered by tests ✅

Comparison is base (2ed4779) 39.12% compared to head (a2f75bf) 56.16%.
Report is 1 commits behind head on main.

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Additional details and impacted files

@@             Coverage Diff             @@
##             main    #6611       +/-   ##
===========================================
+ Coverage   39.12%   56.16%   +17.03%     
===========================================
  Files         161       99       -62     
  Lines        6597     4081     -2516     
  Branches     1297     1001      -296     
===========================================
- Hits         2581     2292      -289     
+ Misses       3665     1570     -2095     
+ Partials      351      219      -132     

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[TkDodo]

we can see here that this fixes the original issue:

https://codesandbox.io/p/devbox/tanstack-query-example-react-basic-typescript-forked-mqmdyw?file=%2Findex.html%3A15%2C10